I'm so RARE!

 

Saima Says

 

Hello there! Welcome to Saima Says! This is Saima Gulati and you are reading a blog from a forever confused 13 year-old girl. What you are reading are her emotions poured out. Come join her!

So I know I have been gone a long time and that's because of a reason. First I was swamped due to exams and after they finished, I gave myself time to figure some things out. Ever since I entered teenage, I have been feeling different. It's like a rush of insecurities that send me to a downward spiral again and again. And I thought to myself, I write blogs about my feelings. What should I have written if I didn't truly know how I felt? I did write a blog last month but it just didn't feel right so I didn't post it.

I've got to say, the teenage mind is such a fickle thing. Changes over and over again; it's so clouded up. Recently, I found out I was always in a weird place because of my insecurities. Ever since I was very young, I thought it was significant for me to be like others. I was big-headed and never could handle if someone reached the top other than me. As I grew up, I came to know how important it was to be kind towards others but it never really changed my insecurities.

I used to lie so that people would like me, and never really showed anyone my true self. Of course I did it all unconsciously, and even if I did know what I was doing back then, I was too young to realise it wasn't right. All these insecurities and negativity have led me to this low feeling about everything. 

And all this time that I have been gone, I was trying to convert all this negative energy in my life into a  more positive and joyful headspace. I have been working to diminish all the troubling thoughts that spiral through a control freak's mind (namely me 🤣) and turn them into something actually useful.

After a while, I learnt that the key to love, kindness and happiness amongst all is practicing the most essential type of love on this planet- Self Love.

Think about it. A person is only insecure because they don't like themselves. I am one of these people. {Or was. I'm trying to get up there.} These kinds of people crave social approval in order to feel good about themselves, because deep down they are not comfortable with who they are. They actually depend on it. When I saw people moving ahead of me last year and felt the lack of praises and compliments, my true insecure self was revealed.

I understood that only if a person is insecure about themselves or doesn't like who they are, they start to pull others down because they can't handle seeing someone so jovial about themselves.If someone has been bitter to you or tries make you think you're not a good person, they might be doing it to belittle you. To feed their ego and feel less insecure. The root stem of all this hatred, even on social media, are the Insecurities of people. 

So, once we start loving ourself, we start loving others deeply and find no problem spreading compassion amongst all.

These days, I have been trying to be as true and real to myself I can be; so here I am. Being vulnerable and opening up to my flaws.

 And there's no point in being harsh on oneself. I speak that from experience.When I realise how wrong I've been, I start punishing myself. But what's the point? I need to love myself and forgive myself for everything wrong.Learn from experiences and then move on. Only then you can truly be a grateful, joyful and generous person.

These things take time; it goes all little by little, step by step. 

And even though I'm far away from that place, I have no shame admitting that. But I'm trying to imbedd it into me that..

I'm  so 

At the end of the day, WE ALL ARE.

fun fact: Selena Gomez is my idol and I absolutely love her music and more than that, her dazzling messages and mottos! That is why I chose her song 'Rare' to be the title, it is truly the utmost uplifting song!

Saima Says